So i called my house today to talk to my mom about Jonas' diaper rash. It doesnt seem to be clearing up at all. My mom wasnt there, so i ended up talking to my dad instead. My Dad's advice was to let the rash "air dry" for a few minutes. I was worried about Jonas peeing/poohing on me in those few minutes, but my dad reassured me with a laugh... in my mind the laugh meant that it probably wouldnt happen and that i was a worrywart. Looking back, maybe he was laughing cuz he knew what most likely would happen, i dont know. So anyways, i get off the phone and change Jonas' diaper, i decided i would take off the diaper for just a minute and kind of fan the area in hopes that it would give it the most amount of air in the least amount of time. I even stuck some toilet paper underneath him in case he poo'ed.
WELLLLLLL.... he didnt poo. Instead, im being pelted with pee, i didnt even realize what was going on at first and then when i did, my immediate reaction was to step out of the line of fire (cuz, EW, PEE!) but now, i wish i hadnt, cuz when i moved, his stream of pee reached the bed!!! and it got all over the changing table! EWWWWW! so i undress him and run him over to the bathroom and stick him in his tub. He is screaming at this point of course. I get undressed as well so that i can bathe him while i shower. It was definitely the least relaxing shower i have ever taken... he screamed when i didnt give him every ounce of attention and all the warm water. lol. So, we are both showered and bathed, part of the reason why he is screaming is because he is hungry (poor kid, i only fed him 2 hrs ago! :p )
Anyways, so i hurry and grab a towel for him and wrap him all up and i go to the bedroom to feed him.. well right before i get him latched on, i realize that he has just poo'ed in the towel! GRRREAT! After i get a diaper on him and feed him, he decides that peeing and pooing on me isnt enough and he spits up all over me! What a fun afternoon. Now the baby is content and I am doing about a billion loads of laundry. If anyone is keeping track, the score tally is Jonas: 3, Brenda: 0.
Thanks Dad for the awesome tip!!!
p.s. this is NOT an april fools joke. or maybe it was jonas' attempt on me..... either way, not funny dad and jonas! i know you were in on it together!
2 years ago
3 comments:
Brenda, your story gave me a good laugh!! Welcome to motherhood. wait until you have to clean up a child and a bed covered in vomit at 3 am. It's lovely. Well at least you have a fun story to tell later :)
I thoroughly enjoyed your story - partly because it happened to you, but partly because I've been there -- and it's much funnier in hindsight.
And, I wanted to tell you that your baby is beautiful. I know he won't stay that way, because someday soon he'll figure out that boys are not beautiful, but in the mean time, enjoy him (even with all of his bodily secretions all over you). Yes, I'm still chuckling -- you're a very good story teller.
Yes, even with girls, I learned to put a diaper back on just as quickly as possible. Otherwise it can be quite a mess. What fun!!
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